I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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