All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize