no, he came in my armpit
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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