I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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