I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
