I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you had me at cake vodka
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
