yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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