Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
