Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize