why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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