My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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