I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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