Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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