Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
