thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
