Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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