Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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