so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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