so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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