did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
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The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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