You're like the curious george of whores
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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