evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
