Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize