In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
