K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
