i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
