therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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