At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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