ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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