I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
