I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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