I'm gonna have a badass scar
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize