i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
