i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
