He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
