I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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