You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
