I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I will pee on everything he values.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
