stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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