Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
