quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize