so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize