brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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