I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
