Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
