ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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