but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
