The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize