ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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