do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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