youre lurking in front of me
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
