Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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