i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Less talking, more tequila
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
