: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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