Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
