Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
