HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize
